Hi Anon!

The answer is complex. 

To me, you can never give enough or be good enough for medicine. It wants all of you. There is a strong “Keeping Up with the Jones’” attitude that pervades many medical attitudes and minds. You can let that drive you crazy or find a way to be okay with that. It is unfortunately ‘normal’ that people doubt themselves or find themselves in endless competition with their peers. A little healthy competition is fine, but it shouldn’t drive anyone crazy. So I have a different way of thinking about it: 

I have learned to see medicine as not a symbol of perfected self, but as a calling. You don’t asked to be called. Something happened to you that made you susceptible to hearing it. It’s better than comparing yourself to some idol or vision of perfection in a white coat that you will never, ever be. A calling is for people who have a story to tell, a mission in life. And I think that’s something we should all have.

When you think of medicine as a calling, all you can do is give it your best shot. Sometimes you screw up and you want to stop. Some days you win life’s jackpot and nothing brings you down. Some days you are brought to your knees, humbled by what you have seen or experienced. Some days you fall to the ground and you feel like you can’t get up. 

I’m not good enough for a lot of things; I don’t know if I’m good enough for medicine. In that way, I can’t answer your question and I apologize for that.

But what I do know? Everything that has happened to me has led me to medicine. It gives meaning to my experiences and ignites my passion. It gives me the tools to help those who need help. If I can take away a little pain and replace it with something better? I’m enough for myself and maybe enough for medicine. 

My answer is way off the beaten path, I know. Thank you for your question!

md-a

Hi Anon!

Never let one score dictate how you feel about yourself. If anything, look back on that score and try to figure out what happen, whether the score was good or bad. What went right or wrong will help you figure out your studying style, where your passion for learning lies, and what you need for academic success.

Whether you should or should not pursue medicine is up to more than grades. Grades, personality, passion, interests, etc. You still have a long road to travel and so much to explore. Enjoy learning and discovering right now. Whether you go into medicine? All things in time :)

Best,

md-a

thenotquitedoctor:

I’m thinking about going to med school but I feel like most med school students are just all around. Like I think I have the ability academically but I’m kind of shy and a bit more introverted. My people skills could use some work, you know? I’m hoping this is something I’ll just be able to get past with more practice but is that something that’s gonna hold me back in this field?

You have to remember that there are all kinds of doctors, and not all of them deal with live patients.  Pathologists help patients immensely without directly interacting with them.  Medical examiners also do a public service but have limited interaction with people.  You could even be an anesthesiologist and only see people before you put them to sleep.  That’s not even taking into consideration the non-clinical (i.e. administrative) jobs you could do as a doctor. 

Doctors come in all shapes and flavors.  Several of my classmates are introverts, as are many of the doctors I have worked with.  The key will be overcoming that when you need to.  If you deal with live patients they will need you to talk to them.  They will need you to console them and to divulge the details of their diagnoses on a level that they can understand.  You don’t have to be an extrovert, but you do have to be able to effectively communicate.    

Being an introvert won’t prohibit you from going into medicine.  It may help to work on your communication skills though.  Medicine, regardless of field, is a team sport.  That means even if you don’t deal with patients you will need to communicate with your colleagues.  Luckily, it sounds like all you need is some practice.     

Best of luck,

TNQD

Excellent answer! Another great response from thenotquitedoctor! 

aspiringdoctors:

I get it. You study or are in class all the time. Sometimes you take a break to go to sleep or eat. Your roommate has been asked to occasionally check on you to make sure you’re still alive. You are too busy stressing and striving for a 4.0 to give any fucks about what you look like. Right?

I say UNACCEPTABLE!!!

One of the many things that really annoys me about American culture is the perception that smart people generally don’t know how to dress themselves or care about their appearance because they don’t know any better. Ohhh, look at that the cute nerd and his/her adorable fashion faux pas. Fuck that shit, guys!! You are really fucking smart, or else you wouldn’t be trying to do this whole doctor thing, correct? So spare a few neurons for how you look on a daily basis.

Then, there is the counter-sentiment that smart people shouldn’t care about appearance because it is trivial and superficial and for people who are also trivial and superficial. And smart people are above such low-brow wastes of time.

Again, I say UNACCEPTABLE.

As much as it sucks, people judge you in less than 10 seconds of first laying eyes on you. So, if you look like you don’t know how a flattering haircut from a flock of seagulls, or seemingly lack a basic grasp of how to select your clothing for your body type… what do you think they are going to deduce about your mental capacities?

Not to mention, confidence about your appearance will translate elsewhere, and be apparent to those around you. It’s a weird cool brain trick. If I’m having a really crummy day or feel sad I always take extra care to dress super awesome. And it usually helps me feel a little better.

You know how little kids will clamp their mouths shut and squirm and do everything possible to not eat that spoonful of pureed spinach their parents are trying to shove in their tiny gobs because it’s fucking good for the little brats? That is me with my rightness about this issue. I’m right and if you just open up and deal with it, it’ll be good for you.

I’m not saying you have to wear business casual every day (although there is a guy in my micro lab who does and goddamn he looks sharp all the fucking time! I love it!!). Just make a little bit of effort; this is one of those super cool instances where a little goes a long way. So what are my suggestions? I thought you’d never ask, you sweet thing, you.

#1: Sweatpants and oversized hoodies are not ok unless you have the plague or some serious issue. You can be comfortable and casual without looking like you sleep in a box under a bridge. Just say no.

#2: Wear clothes (especially releveant to jeans) that fit you and flatter you. Bigger is not better, nor is tighter better. If it looks like you could smuggle a few bricks of cocaine and no one be the wiser, or if people ask how you can possible move or breathe in your vacuum-sealed wrapping, then you need to reconsider how you approach the issue of fit.

#3: Buy quality clothes. You think $100 is a waste for a pair of jeans or a dress? Think about it a different way: that $100 price tag generally means the item of interest is well-made and will last a really long time. Also, it will continue to fit you even after many washings. So, if you have one pair of $100 jeans that fits you like a glove and makes your bum look like it came from Mt. Olympus, and you wear it 4-5 times a week, how long before it costs less than a dollar per use? It’s worth it. And this is especially true of shoes and any type of suit. DON’T BE A CHEAP ASS. EVERYONE WILL BE ABLE TO TELL.

#4: Just because it’s trendy, doesn’t mean it works for you. There are so many amazing retro-inspired ensembles I would love to rock 24/7, but I can’t because I am tall and skinny and shaped like a pencil. If voluptuous could have a negative, that would be me. BUT, there are lots of things I can work because of my shape: like the high-waisted pants and large loose boxy shirt trend? All fucking over that shit. And I can work it! It’s awesome. This rule also applies to color. Figure out what colors do and don’t work for you; for example, I looked awful in the bright neon block color stuff that was in vogue last summer because my people came from the north (melanin is really overrated, according to my phenotype). It just washed me out. But, a good friend of mine with a more olive-type skin tone and dark hair looked stunning in those clothes. On the other hand, for some reason I can wear salmon all day erryday and look swell. Note: I do not wear salmon every day.

#5: Ladies: invest in good undergarments. Make sure they fit you, and if they are cute then that’s super cool too! And wear the right type for what you are wearing! I’m sick of seeing panty-lines and garishly conspicuous bras. Get on that stat. Put a little effort into your face. Get a face wash and moisturizer that work for you. Pluck your eyebrows for the fucking love of god. Makeup is optional, but I find that I look 100x more awake if I at least put on mascara (my eyelashes are clear, essentially). Tinted moisturizer is the lazy girl’s best friend, it makes a huge difference.

#6: Guys: Get a suit that fucking fits. Seriously. A well-tailored suit is to women (or men) what sexy lingerie is to men. Also, take care of your eyebrows too!!! They don’t have to be sculpted, but at least fix any nascent unibrow-wannabes. A good face wash and moisturizer is also important and completely manly. Taking care of your nails is also awesome; gross toe and fingernails will get you nowhere in life. Basically, take care of yourself, practice good grooming habits.

#7: Get a decent haircut. It’s not difficult and can really make a huge impact in your perception of yourself and others’ perception of you. And, I hate to say it, but this is another instance where being a tightwad is going to hurt you. Go to a good salon. Maybe you have to pay $40-$50 for a haircut. So the fuck what? View it as an investment, not an expense. If done right, it will continue to look good as it grows until your next appointment (to those of you with long hair- you really need to go every three months or so for a trim; dead ends will end you). The same applies for hair products. To the 1% of people who have naturally amazing hair and never have to put anything in it to make it obey you, I am very jealous. The rest of us will have to get good product and use it properly to obtain such results. And there are a lot of awesome styles and products for lazy people with no time. You just have to ask.

No, go forth, and let’s change that stupid-ass notion that smart people aren’t hella sexy and fashion-savvy!!

Everything on here is ON POINT. BRAVO, ASPIRINGDOCTORS. I second her heartily. As a teenager, I didn’t think I deserved to dress well, let alone feel proud of my body. But upon entering college, I realized that dressing well was is one way to boost my self confidence, and that meant a lot in the long run as I learned to embrace myself and my quirkiness. Appearance seems like a superficial thing to think about sometimes but…appearance goes a long, long way to making oneself feel good! Do it for yourself, no one else :)