My blog is not complete without this.
I couldn’t help it; the mustaches made me reblog
Admission #99: Texts From Last Night
Text on Friday night, 3 weeks ago. I was at a bar: my sister has had fever, hematuria, and thigh for the past two weeks. Help me convince her to go to the doctor!!!
Text on Friday night, 2 week ago. I was at a house party: Hey I just got staples for my head in the ER. :’( What did you do when you for dizziness when you hit your head last time?
Text on Thursday night 1 week ago. At my friend’s house: I think I have a relationship emergency. And maybe a related health emergency. Call me back plz!
Text from Saturday night. At a birthday party: Hey I passed out and woke up in the ambulance…I’m not makin it to the party. I’m going to pass the phone to my bf because I need help getting back home.
Everybody is sweaty and naked in the ICU. You should go sometime.”
— Dr. E, who frequents club ICU
Clinic rule #1: Never let anyone borrow your pen unless they ask you for it.”
— Dr. C
Admission #86: Cardiovascular Exam (with gifs)
Today we were taught how to perform the cardiovascular portion of the physical exam. We were split into small groups, and I was with four guys. Entering the classroom, the five of us were greeted by the teaching physician.
“You guys know you’re performing the exam on each other, right? So I need you all to take off your tops and get in gowns.”
Suddenly, she seemed to notice me. “Oh, not you! You can keep your top on.”
“But you will have to perform the exam on all of them.”
These were the guys I examined:
#1: future ortho surgeon. He works out a lot, loves his protein powder shakes, and had no issues about taking his shirt off. And we are friends, so it was actually kind of fun.
#2: gunner supreme. Nervous, never goes to the gym, never sees sunlight. And pointed out my mistakes while I was doing the exam ON HIM.
#3: the oddball. Not really quite sure what to say about this kid except…he was way too encouraging about me getting all of his pulses. I declined doing his femoral artery pulse. Quickly.
#4: the guy I used to date.
Overall conclusion: there is not enough rubbing alcohol in the world to cleanse my hands.
During a myocardial infarction, time is muscle”
— Dr. M, wait, what?
When my classmates took notes on pathology slides, I drew them out. My friends would then ask me, ‘what’s that a picture of?’ and I’d say ‘stratified squamous epithelium’. ‘Can you tell me about it?’ I’d always reply, “No, I spent so much time drawing the slides out I didn’t have time to write anything down.’ And somehow, I ended up a pathologist.”
— Dr. S, who doesn’t know that this sounds EXACTLY LIKE ME when I learn histology and pathology too.
To the class of 2016: Observations from 2015
Inspired by wayfaringmd’s list, which is perfect. This is an homage :)
Congrats and welcome, class of 2016! You’re about to embark on a life-changing journey. You’re going to love it and hate it, sometimes simultaneously. But your upperclassmen, your loved ones, and other folks are here for you. And as someone who very recently went through the same experience, may I offer these ideas to you?
1. Those of you who don’t drink coffee or ‘don’t do caffeine’: You will. Your poison will be coffee, tea, or chocolate. Or in my case, all three.
2. If a club or talk has free food during lunch, GO. (Whether your reason is for the food or for the talk)
3. Medical students are broke; we do potlucks the way celebrities do Botox. You have 3 options: learn 2 recipes you won’t be ashamed of serving, know your wines or beers, be a shopping god to reduce your costs. My go-to recipe is Japanese curry, and my go-to beers are Sam Adams, Fat Tire, and Yuengling Lager.
4. In that vein, learn how to split a bill, if you don’t know how to already. That is going to happen a lot.
5. Get cable, Netflixs, or some way to watch mindless television: some upperclassmen say you won’t have time to watch TV. True. But when you do need a way to totally veg-out? Never underestimate the power of the boob tube.
6. If your school wants you to buy scrubs, get the cheapest ones you can find. Scrubs are professional pajamas designed to get dirty. Put the money you save towards comfortable professional shoes or medical equipment (stethoscope, reflex hammer, etc.).
7. Don’t talk about medical school in too much detail when your significant other/date/family/friends/loved ones ask about medical school. Because no one wants to know what formaldehyde in a cadaver’s bowel smells like. Or the niceties of GABA transport. Broad strokes, people. Big, broad, beautiful strokes.
8. Get your geek on. Firefly, Blade Runner, Golden Age comics, Marvel vs. DC, Game of Thrones, Settlers of Catan, the list goes on. Because everyone’s a geek to some degree in med school…
9. …But don’t be socially awkward. You’re a doctor in training, now. Get used to talking to people from all walks of life. Practice your social skills.
10. Don’t take too many things personally. Classmates are going to be stressed. So will you. Patients (if you see any), nurses, and others may give you a hard time. And sometimes your professors are nuts or total jerks. Meanwhile, you’re trying to balance life with work. So learn to let things go and don’t take things too personally. Learn to laugh and find the fun in things. It’s those precious moments that make up this blog, and will eventually make up YOUR memorable 1st year.
Best of luck, I can’t wait to meet you all!
M: Dude, did you know there's a third year with the same name as you? You should--
J: Assert my dominance?
M: ...ask him to be your mentor and give you advice on Step 1.
-M, positive thinker; J, probably been watching too much Discovery Channel this summer
It can be challenging enough to diagnose a patient’s problem in the real world — just imagine how much more difficult it would be in a comic book world where magic, mutant abilities, aliens, advanced technology, and psychic powers all exist. Here are a handful of actual comic book medical cases — are your diagnostic skills up to the task?
I love comic books and puzzles; can you figure these questions out as well as the comic references? :)